This one’s going out to all you hipsters out there – keep that freak flag flying! Waxed mustaches may get a lot of hate sometimes, but they’re genuinely cool to try out; it’s a nicely subtle way to style your facial hair (if you do it right), and can help you create a whole new look for yourself. Choosing just between clean-shaven and hirsute is boring – there’s all kinds of stuff you can do with your facial hair, and waxing your mustache is just one of them.
Still, I personally think it’s the most fun, both to see and to do yourself, so I thought I’d outline a few of the reasons I think a waxed mustache is, how the kids say, dope.
Pros and Cons of a Waxed Mustache:
First off, waxing your mustache makes your mustache actually cool. If you’re going to go for a mustache at all, you just have to wax it. Otherwise, you just end up looking like Tom Selleck – while that may be an appealing prospect to some, I promise it’s just far too safe to be cool anymore. Trying to look like your dad is a bit too gauche and predictable. But trying to look like your grandpa? Now that’s innovation.
The dandy-esque look that comes with a waxed mustache is something that really helps to set you apart. Even if other young folks are waxing their ‘staches (even then, you’d have to be somewhere like Seattle, Portland or Chicago to really run into a lot of overlap), the sheer number of styles you can use is simply staggering. You can go for the simple handlebar, or you can switch things up by curling it in other ways.
You could even just go for a bit of definition in your own regular mustache – a bit of wax goes a long way toward giving your existing facial hair volume and heft. If you like the Selleck look, but know that your existing follicular capabilities are not up to the task, wax always helps. Just comb it in for a more voluminous shape every time.
The thing to keep in mind about waxing your mustache is that, first and foremost, you need to give your lip caterpillar the proper maintenance – this involves moisturizing, combing, defining and keeping a constant eye out for it. A clean mustache is a sexy one, and one that is more amenable to waxing as well; you have to keep that in mind when engaging in any ‘stache-related hullabaloo.
Now, there are some arguments against waxing your mustache which might merit some consideration. First of all, waxing your mustache requires actually having the hair to do it. If you can’t really grow the kind of Ron Swanson-y upper lip that allows the wax to have something to grip and tie together, you probably shouldn’t invest in mustache wax. (Then again, if you can’t really grow a mustache in the first place, what are you even doing considering wax?)
Still, despite these warning signs, the benefits far outweigh the potential pitfalls if you’re emotionally, spiritually, and follically ready for the grand adventure that is mustache wax. The biggest issue, then, is figuring out which mustache wax will really help you out.
How Easy Is It to Do?
Now, if you decide to go into the wide world of mustache waxing, you might be wondering about the barrier to entry. Simply put, it’s easy as pie! I mean, it’s pretty much like putting gel or product in your hair, but you don’t have to reach as high or work with as much. All you’ve got to do is get some mustache wax (much like the waxes we’ve mentioned above), put a little on your fingers, and apply to the ends of your clean mustache.
Rub the ends between your fingers to achieve some sharp points, and curl them up around your finger and hold for a bit to let the wax set. Once that’s done, eureka! You’ve got a beard that would be the envy of any 19th century saloon barkeep you come across. (Now all that’s left is to get a time machine, and you’re off to the races with that particular item on your bucket list.)
There are all manner of styles and waxes to work with, so it’s just a matter of shopping around and experimenting; there’s some trial and error involved, of course, but that’s really no big deal.
A Few Final Thoughts:
All in all, getting your mustache waxed is something that stylish, simple, easy to do and carries a HUGE return on investment in terms of look. It’s just a really cool way to embellish your facial hair and show it off without just letting it hang out there for anyone to overlook. A great waxed mustache can really turn heads, and so will you once you start doing it.
Oh, one last little benefit to a mustache that’s been waxed? You get to keep food out of it. I know that it might seem appealing to have little crumbs of delicious Cheeto flick down to your mouth every so often, but to others it’s gross. Using the wax to keep your hair out of your mouth makes it that much easier to keep it clean, and just to eat in general. I promise that you won’t regret trying out this pretty fashionable bit of hygiene.